Dean Mason talks about his great new book, “Daddy’s Ok”

Dean Mason

Dean Mason

I wrote “Daddy’s OK” because my own experience in divorce was like the world falling down around me and none of the usual things worked for me any more.

Here’s what I wish someone had told me before I’d gone through it there are people around who really do know and understand what you are going through, but you have to get off your butt, and out of your usual way of dealing with things, to find them.

I volunteer my time at Dads in Distress because every time I help someone with what they are going through, it reminds me that what I went through was not a complete waste. The peer-support model of DIDSS, and the group meeting format, have been real life-changers for me.

When a marriage ends many of us struggle with a devastating sense of failure. If you don’t get to see your children as much, this feeling can be compounded by an even deeper anguish; your own life feels somehow diminished and your vitality can seem almost expired. What hope, what help, can possibly rise from circumstances like these?

It might be the end of ‘the dream’, but it is a time when a new dream begins to be born. Reach out to others who have empathy for what you are going through, borrow their strength and learn from their wisdom, the dream in you will find new life. The tools you need to be a strong co-parent and a proud father, or mother, will soon be in your hands once more.

Daddy’s OK: Fathers’ stories of separation, divorce and rebuilding. By Dean Mason, New Holland Publishing, ISBN 9781742572239, $RRP 29.95.

What Michael Green QC, Author of Fathers After Divorce and Shared Parenting says: Dean Mason has picked it in one brilliant sentence: “The cause is actually irrelevant, what matters most of all is how people cope with such a deep part of themselves being thoroughly challenged and exposed for the world to see.’’ (p182) The recovery for a separated man is to learn from the past, to move on and to become a whole and useful person in his new world. Through the stories and journeys of men after separation and divorce, he provides the scaffolding for men to climb to new and better lives. No blank negatives here: while he acknowledges the deeply disturbing traumas of men experiencing the loss of family, he assists them to positive attitudes with processes to accept what has happened and to emerge as competent fathers, persons and partners.”

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